It’s been a while since I’ve written a dating blog post – for a multitude of reasons – but they are in fact my favourite type of post to write. In today’s blog, I’m going to be exploring the topic of whether soulmates actually exist.
As a child growing up on Disney films with two happily married parents, I believed that everyone had that one special person out there that they were destined to be with. That if we searched and waited for long enough, we would find the other half to make us whole, the person we were destined to be with.
But as I’ve grown older and been in many relationships, my view of soulmates has changed significantly. I don’t like the notion that finding the right person to be with is essentially out of our hands. I’m someone that likes to take control of situations and be proactive, and spending my years wandering around earth waiting for my soulmate to appear doesn’t sound all too enticing.
I do not believe that there is one person on this entire planet that is suited and destined to be with us – if that was truly the case then most people would never find their soulmate – they’d have a one in a 7 billion chance, and many people end up marrying someone they went to school/university/work with – hardly venturing far out of their immediate circle to find their ‘one.’
By believing in having just one soulmate, I think people take to dating with an attitude of waiting for a ‘lightening bolt moment’ (one of my first ever blog posts was about experiencing such a moment on a first date – interestingly that ended as quickly as it began). But what I’ve found both in my own experiences and the experiences of those around me is that that ‘moment’ is nothing more than lust for a person you are immediately, deeply, attracted to. I truly believe that so many potentially great suitors are disregarded because we are all hopeless romantics and ultimately believe that unless we feel that immediate spark, that connection that we were always meant to be, we disregard that person as nothing important.
What I believe instead is that there are several ( sadly I haven’t conjured up a specific number!) people that are very well matched to us. After all, two people in a relationship are never identical – that usually makes for disastrous relationships in my opinion – they have instead somewhat similar enough traits to create an initial bond and differing enough traits to find a harmony and balance in the way they work together) I think after years of working hard together as a couple to maintain the love, respect, commitment and ultimately life that they have built together, that person can then become their soulmate.
The definition of soulmate is, ‘a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner,’ which could easily be how someone could describe someone they have spent time working hard with to develop a lasting, committed relationship.
Moving forward into the dating world and relationships, with this view, in my humble opinion, will make for a much easier quest to find a partner and one that is longer lasting and more fulfillinh too.
To my lovely readers – what are your thoughts on this?