We have all been there.
You go on a great first date, he seems really keen and asks to see you again, but 24 hours later you still haven’t heard from him. You agree to swap numbers on Tinder to speak on Whatsapp, but then he never materialises. You ask him that all important question:
‘where is this going?’ he reads it and then silence ensues for an agonising period of time.
What I’ve realised recently, is that pretty much all women have the same thought process when they are waiting out this painstakingly long bout of silence, and it sounds something like this:
‘He must be busy.’
‘Did I give him the right number?’
‘Has he forgotten who I am?’
‘I’m sure he’ll text soon.’
‘How busy can the guy be?’
‘I must definitely have given him the wrong number, maybe I changed the last digit?’
‘He’s probably fallen ill.’
‘Maybe a family member died? That would make sense, obviously he wouldn’t have time to text if that was the case.’
‘WAIT he’s just posted an image on Instagram. Wtf? Why would he do that before texting Me? I’m not a happy bunny. He will be getting a short sarcastic response from me when he does eventually decide to text.’
‘Ok I’ve been to the gym, watched Netflix, eaten a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and still nothing. I give up. I’m getting back on Tinder. Screw him, screw men. I’m going to be singled forever. I’m actually going to be that crazy old cat lady, and I don’t even like cats.’
‘hey babe, sorry for the delay. How are you?’
‘Yay! He text! Praise the lord! Faith has been restored in this world!’ *does a little victory dance*
‘But I’m going to make him wait for a response, just like he made me wait.’
*10 agonisingly long minutes later – I text him back.
I think our main downfall with texting men is that we expect them to behave how we would behave, or how our female friends would speak to us, all whilst forgetting the slightly important fact that they are male.
There can be an endless amount of reasons why a guy doesn’t text you back for a while, or if at all.
They might want to avoid having an indepth chat, they might want to create some space, they might not actually enjoy texting in the first place, they might not want what they say to misunderstood.
But a reason I have found to be usually the more common ( both from asking guys I’m texting and male friends who are texting women they like) is that they are just BUSY. Whilst some women like to do their makeup, eat their lunch, chat to their best friend, watch the latest episode of Stranger Things AND text a guy all at the same time, some guys prefer to just do one thing at a time. So if you’ve text them on the way to the gym, they may well finish their gym session, head home for a shower, make a snack, settle down infront of the TV and THEN send you a text. Not because they like you any less or because they are trying to keep you hanging, but simply because that’s just how they function. (According to one male source I questioned!)
To my ever delightful readers, what do you think? Ladies – do any of the thoughts I shared above resonate with you? Men – do you agree with any of the reasons I listed above as to why men might not text back for a while?