It is a well known fact that women are drawn to men that are blatant players or bad boys as oppose to the type of men that usually end up well and truly in our friend zone. I wrote a blog post last week on the The difference between a fuck boy and a forever boy, which details how to identify which one you are dating, but I wanted to explore why, with online dating more common than ever it’s becoming seemingly more apparent that whilst many women complain about never been treated properly, we still seek out men that treat us like crap.
We want what we can’t have
Because we enjoy a challenge. We don’t appreciate things as much if we have them for free so we step up to try and catch (and keep) the eye of a bad boy.
We think we can change them
We are naive in thinking that our amazing personality and understanding ways will cause said boy to suddenly realise the error of his ways and decide to commit himself to us wholeheartedly.
If we take it back to basics, the reason we are attracted to a cocky self assured man who might otherwise refer to himself as an alpha male, is because nature is telling us that he has the strongest sperm. Even if we consciously try to move away from these men, subconsciously our bodies (and ovaries) are pulling us towards them.
There are more of them
Apparently. According to stats, because we all know how much we can rely on them. I think it’s more likely that nice guys are starting to realise the best way to keep a girl interested is to treat her mean, even if they don’t necessarily mean it.
We enjoy the excitement
Even though in an ideal world we want to settle down and be happy in an easygoing marriage it also screams: boring, routine, YAWN. Spending time with a guy who messes us around keeps us on our toes and guessing his next move.
They are perfect for a casual fling
With the likes of Tinder & Bumble providing an infinity of men at our fingertips, it removes most of the effort involved in finding a man for a casual fling. Whilst nice guys are great, they’re not ideal if we are looking for something non-committal. We know with a player we can bow whenever we’re not feeling the relationship anymore and it won’t involve a series of awkward breakup texts.
We lust after them
Their arrogance, mystery and endless charm create the illusion that they not only know exactly how to pleasure a woman but they are very skilled at it.
To my ever lovely readers – what do you think? Have you (either men or women!) experienced dating someone that is a ‘player?’