As I’ve grown older and dated, especially in London, I’ve noticed that most young, single men fall into two categories: a fuckboy and a forever boy. Let me explain the difference between the two.
His personality is usually quite confident/verging on arrogant, charming, sociable, flirty, very good looking, shows an initial interest you and then backs off. His traits include:
– He doesn’t text regularly, when he does it’s either a blaze comment or he sounds super keen.
– He’s often busy when you try to arrange to meet up/is vague about when he is free
– You feel like you are chasing him
– He doesn’t often ask about your life or remembers just enough to get by, but mainly talks about himself or when you’re next going to meet up
– He tries to sleep with you early on and then tried to make most dates either home based or in a pub near one of your houses
– He constantly plays mind games with you
-When you’re with one you often feel anxious/stressed/paranoid/insecure
They are also good looking but less confident, can be shy/more quiet, still charming but immediately shows an interest in you. Their traits include:
– He texts you good morning and good night
-You don’t feel like you are chasing him, he is either showing more interest or it’s fairly equal
– He asks you when you are free to meet up and is transparent with his schedule
– He remembers little details about your life to show he listens and has a genuine interest in your life
– He doesn’t put any pressure on you to do anything
– When you’re with one you feel calm/relaxed/happy/confident
– He makes it very clear he is only interested in you
I’ll admit I have normally been attracted to a fuck boy and their charming personality (which is probably why I’m still single) but now I’m making a conscious effort to remove any time or energy spent on such men (which there are many of in London) and give the ‘nice’ guys a chance.
Ladies – which ones have you dated before?
And gentleman – which type do you identify yourself with? Do you agree with the traits I have listed?
Ah, think I’m guilty of being both… ticked almost every box, sadly.
Show’s you’re well rounded 🙂
Its like women have to go through “fuck boys” to realise the value of the “forever boy”. Sadly, this means the forever boy is never first choice. He thus, spends otherwise precious time fixing what your “fuck boy” has broken and quite frequently suffers the brunt of their debilitating action and impact .
Usher’s ‘I Can’t Win’ sums it all up perfectly.
This is SO true!! I’ve met a few forever boys recently and they all say they are left to pick up the pieces as by the time a girl gives them the time of day they have already dated quite a few fuckboys!
Love that tune 🙂
You’ve got it pretty much right. A lot of work still to be done and attitudes to change
This is more true of boys, men are more complex with baggage, the cockiness subsides into an extroverted weirdness!! Plus if we didn’t let ppl away with bad behaviour there would be no fuck boys or girls but unfortunately if you’re good looking you can pretty much do as you please
I completely agree that both men and women only continue to be fuck boys/girls because the people they date let them get away with it!
I have only had one boyfriend and quite frankly he’s the best thing to happen to me. I absolutely adore him so much! <3
I would advice you to wait and let the man of your dreams come to you 🙂 that's what I did.
Thank you lovely 🙂 glad you have found someone that treats you well!
Very accurate depictions of both a fuck boy and a forever boy. I just “ended it ” with a fuck boy. Now it appears I have found a forever boy. He does every single thing you listed. Good morning /good night texts. I feel comfortable. I feel like i’m not forced to do anything. Versus the fuck boy. I was insanely attracted to him. But maybe that’s exactly all it was. Lust. Had to let it go once I realized I was putting more effort in than he was. Hoping for the best with this forever boy!’ 😊
I think you’re right that it’s more about lust with a fuckboy than anything else! Glad you have found your forever boy, I hope things work out for you 🙂
Thank you Giulia!!
I’m a forever boy. For sure…
And I’ve been hurt so many times.
I’m sorry to say… but I’ve lost faith in finding a woman who appreciates the forever boy characteristics you describe. In the end I’ve always been cheated.
I’m sure you will find a forever girl one day!
Haha, it looks like you have a pretty good synopsis here on both types. I am a forever boy, but I still have some traits of the ‘fuck boy’.
Thanks! Glad you can relate and identify to both types.. I think it’s hard to say you’re definitely one or the other and not a mix of the two, I guess it also depends on the person you are dating and the stage at which you are in life. You may be a fuck boy in your 20’s but a forever boy in your 30’s.
I think everyone has the capacity to be a bit of both, depending on the circumstances!
Completely agree, depends on the time/people/situation. Glad you liked the post 🙂
yup this is pretty much spot on….ha ha
Thanks! Glad you agree 🙂
I loved your article and I have dated a couple fuckboys. Unfortunately when I was younger I was attracted to the bad ones. Now that I’m older I make better decisions.
Thank you 🙂 I’m hoping as I get older I make better decisions too!
I am a forever boy who non-deliberately is becoming more fuckboy. By fuckboy I mean to say I seem to be taking less and less interest in any one particular woman. Sometimes I display minimal interest BUT ODDLY EnOUGH women show more interest that way. So bizarre.
No no no that’s you feeding into the Men are Trash syndrome. Be you and cut off any woman who can’t see how good of a man you are 🙌 We’re not all bad – Promise
I know you all aren’t. It’s more of a non-chalant attitude about dating in general. My noting is of how a lot of women are more attracted to this attitude.
Sadly that is the way the world works these days!
We all encounter both kinds in our lifetime. I am happy that I ended up with “Forever boy” . Loved this post !
Thank you very much 🙂 I agree – we will definitely meet both in our life (unless we are part of the lucky few that meet a forever boy straight off the bat!)
Human nature is much more complex. Patterns of behaviour depend on so many things and I think it is not fair to put all men into just two categories. Also, everything depends on a woman. If we enter relationships having prejudices a priori, of course, they will not be successful. Often times, women complicate things with no valid or justified reasons. But, in that situation, a woman is never a player but a victim. Makes one think.
What do you do when you find a boy who is a combination of the two?
Excellent question! What does your gut tell you?
A saying I heard a lot growing up is that “there is a time and place for everything”, so I think it stands to reason that a fuck boy does have his place, but when you’re in need of something more profound than the fuck boy will have to move along…
That’s a brilliant way of looking at it, they do teach you something I suppose. Ultimately it’s down to us to decide to move away from them to something more profound (unless we want to spend our lives chasing fuck boys!)