When I was a child, my mother taught me a very important life lesson. At the age of 10, my first boyfriend bought me some chocolates for Valentines day. The next day, he broke up with me and asked for them back. At first I was outraged at his request, but when I told my mother, she advised me to give them all back and rise above it.
‘Never give a man a reason to dislike you after a breakup, always be the bigger person.’ Were her words.
That phrase has stuck with me since and I have never (save for the odd ‘miss you’ drunk text) done anything embarrassing or attention seeking to try and get an ex’s attention post breakup.
Over the years however, I have seen countless friends and acquaintances make complete and utter fools of themselves on the internet after a breakup.
Let me tell you one thing ladies & gentleman: if you think that shouting and screaming about your breakup online will make your other half want you back, it won’t. It will have them running for their hills and wiping their brows, thankful for the fact they are far, far, away from you.
- DON’T let the world know you’ve split up – I knew a girl that posted a status the evening her fiancé broke up with her, telling the world she was now a single pringle again after 6 years and wrote a long, heartfelt post on how upset and heartbroken she was. If you’re feeling like this, invest in a diary. You get the same cathartic feeling without the entire Facebook population knowing you have been dumped.
- DON’T upload ‘sly’ memes about your other half – memes such as ‘ you could have had this but you were window shopping’ or ‘you’ll never get something as good as this again’ are cringeworthy and NOT sly at all. They know you are talking about them.
- DON’T upload pictures with people of the opposite sex to try and make them jealous – it just screams you aren’t over it and want to make them jealous. In reality it will probably have the opposite effect.
- DON’T slate them on social media- again, I’ve seen an acquaintance do this with her ex, she dragged his name through the trash only to forget that she still had his family on Facebook who proceeded to tell her just how rude she was. Don’t.Do. It.
- DON’T obsessively stalk their page – and check who’s liking and commenting on their pictures, who’s tagging themselves in pictures with them, who they’re hanging out with. The reality of that action is you will create a million scenarios in your head of Hannah from his gym who keeps liking his pictures is now most probably shagging him, when in reality, there’s probably absolutely nothing going on there.
- DON’T delete every trace of them from your social media – it may seem cathartic at the time because you are so angry and upset, and it may be something that you eventually do, but try, if you can, to hold back from doing it the day you split up. Not only will it immediately attract attention to the fact you have split to everyone you know, but if you were to ever get back together, you can’t undo deleting all those pictures.
- Perhaps the one thing you should do, is block them – not forever, but for now. To give yourself a chance to move on, to stop obsessing, and stop worrying about who they are with and what they are doing. Cut them out completely and give yourself and your mind a chance to start afresh. In a few months, you will probably forget that this was even an issue, and you will have saved yourself hours of wasted time on social media.
To my delightful readers, what are your thoughts?