Having been in and out of relationships since the age of 16, I’ve found that when I’m in a relationship (unless it’s a really bad one) I don’t really miss any aspect of the single life. I have been on so many dates that even the excitement of meeting someone new for the first time doesn’t really thrill me anymore.
But when I’m single, despite being happy for the majority of the time – I can do what I like whenever I like and I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself – there are certain elements of a relationship that I certainly miss.
Being a team
This might sound silly depending on the types of relationships you have had, but one thing I love about having a boyfriend is the fact you tackle everything in live together, as a duo. You don’t ever have to go through anything by yourself.
An adventure buddy
Even though my friends are always up for pretty much anything I suggest doing, they of course all have other priorities, friends and partners. When you’re in a relationship, it’s a given that any holiday, adventure, weird film, new bar you want to try, you’re partner will be more than willing to do it with you.
An excuse for a lazy day
The polar opposite of the above. When you spend a day lazing in the house with your friends, it’s seen as a waste of a day. But if you spend a day in bed, having a Netflix marathon with your partner, it’s seen as bonding time. A guilt free way to do absolutely nothing all day.
An obvious one for most. Whilst many people have fuck buddies when they’re single, those people are often unreliable, come with complications and aren’t always available. Plus sex is never as good with someone who you don’t actually like. Nothing beats the satisfaction and comfort of knowing that whenever you want you can have sex with someone that loves you and knows you inside out.
For me, this perhaps is more important than sex. One thing I really crave when I’m single is the little affectionate things you do when you’re in a relationship. The quick kiss on the head when you’re out in public, holding hands down the street, spooning in bed. They’re not actions that can really be replaced by anyone else, which is why I feel a lack of it affects me the most.
Again, this is coming from the view that you are in a healthy, loving relationship. Nothing quite beats the secure, safe feeling of knowing you have someone that will do anything for you, they will protect you and look after you – you no longer have to tackle the world by yourself.
Losing the person you thought was ‘the one’
Granted I haven’t felt this in a lot of relationships, but I’ve certainly had some where I’ve talked about having a future with that person, whether it be moving in together, or going travelling for 6 months. It’s difficult to adjust back to thinking they weren’t that person, and having to start again in that quest to find the person that is the right fit for you.
Someone to be your true self around
The Japanese say you have three faces: one face is the one you show to the public, the second is one you show to close friends and family, and the third is the one you only show to yourself. I don’t think I have ever completely let someone in, but I know that I tend to tell boyfriends a hell of a lot more about myself than I do to anyone else. It’s reassuring to have someone that you know no matter what you tell them, they won’t judge you.
To my delightful readers, what do you miss most when you are single?