Back when I was single and hopelessly wading through Tinder, I would repeatedly wonder what on earth I had done wrong to make a guy stop speaking to me. I decided to ask my male friends who had experience of playing the field just exactly what it was that would turn them off a potential girlfriend:
Being too keen – probably a no brainer, and easier to discuss than to actually implement once you start liking a guy and wondering why on earth he isn’t replying to your 7th message that day. The age old rule of playing hard to get works for a reason – if there is no mystery, no chase, if everything is handed to them on a plate – they will get bored and move on to something that is more of a challenge.
Not being keen enough – but at the same time there can be such a thing as playing TOO hard to get. If you take weeks to respond to their messages, cancel last minute on dates, and put zero effort into making conversation with them once you do reply to their message, they will move on to someone that will pander to their ego.
Being a floozy – Again an obvious one, but one that in the days of Tinder is happening more and more often. Women are terrified the guy will lose interest or find them boring if they don’t give them everything they want straight away, but in actual fact, its probably their biggest turn off. If all it takes is a pizza and a couple of beers to make you sleep with them, they’ll be likely to suspect you would do the same with multiple others, and a girl that is ‘easy’ is never viewed as anything more than a casual FB.
When you lose your chill – by this, I mean asking guys the questions they all dread to here, ‘What are we?’, ‘Where is this going?’ ‘Are you seeing anyone else?’ From personal experience, every time I have asked this question, I have had a 100% success rate of the guy running for the hills and never looking back. Whilst asking these questions can be more tempting than scratching a hard to reach itch, be patient and wait for either:
- The right time
- You intuitively sense they are more interested/have had discussions about becoming exclusive
- The dating has dragged out and you get the vibe they don’t want to commit – to save you wasting even more time with him, just ask him outright and save yourself some heartache.
If they don’t make you jealous at all – only one male friend put forward this one, the other disagreed, but I thought it would be interesting to include to see what my male readers thought. Basically, it refers to a girl that in their eyes isn’t ‘attractive’ to other men. By that I mean, if the girl has a great social life and is always busy (and in other words doesn’t need the guy), if they have male friends/acquaintances that they spend time with or are photographed with then a girl is usually seen as a more attractive ‘prize’. Thoughts?!
The doormat girl – a girl that just goes with the flow and doesn’t stand her ground is about as attractive as a warm pint. Ladies, we need to learn to stand our ground, to not let guys walk all over us and stop being doormats. If the guy learns early on that he can treat you like shit he will continue to push that boundary and see how far he can go.
The bitch – If we become argumentative, moody, possessive, controlling, snappy, and worked up over little things, the guy will smell a drama queen and find himself a more chilled out chick. Learn to play it cool (but not become a doormat) and pick and choose your fights. Does it really matter that he didn’t text you whilst he was at the game with the guys? Does it really matter that he’s blown you off to spend time with his family or close friends?
There is someone better – this is probably the hardest pill to swallow and not one you can really control. In the era of online dating being as mainstream as avocados, it’s ridiculously easy for a guy to find a prettier, boobier, slimmer, bigger, funnier, kinder, more successful girl that he is more attracted to.
Again, these views are not my own but those of my close male friends. I would love to hear from both you guys and gals whether you agree?